At first I thought I had been right to give W this second chance he was trying so hard, he wasn’t drinking. Well as far as I could tell and he was trying to understand more about what I was going through with M being on the loose.
Yes it had been another 3 weeks, and M was still AWOL. The police were apparently doing all they could to find him. I was having to call them for updates as they were not forth coming with sharing anything with me.
I was feeling very uneasy, but slowly getting used to feeling scared which wasn’t a state I wanted to be in. But there was nothing I could do but wait for the police to find M and then hopefully lock him up.
I let W try to make amends, he was more talkative and engaged with me than he had been for a while and he even invited me to join him on a work nights out and he stuck to his diet coke!
I was happy he seemed to be doing so well, and thought ok maybe this was the start of a new leaf for W and for us.
I was wrong. So very very very wrong.
It was a Thursday and I was walking to the nearest card shop to get a wedding card for W’s sister wedding that weekend. W and I were going to be driving up to Nottinghamshire to see his sister wed her girlfriend L and I was looking forward to it.
I thought W might struggle on such an occasion to not drink but he told me that with me by his side he would be just fine.
My phone rang and it was a withheld number, I sucked my breath in. This was likely to be the police, was this it? Had they caught him?
It was the police but it wasn’t about M, it was about W.
FOR FUCKS SAKE!
The officer asked me to confirm I was W girlfriend, I did. He then proceeded to tell me W had been found collapsed on the street fitting and that he was being taken to hospital. Could I come?
Fear spiked through me, and then anger- why would this be happening? Why was he on a street so far from work at 12.45pm on a Thursday?
My mind jumped to drink.
I hurried back to the office and explained the situation to my manager, the officer had advised that I wouldn’t be able to see him for about 3 hours so to come then, W was stable. So I worked until 3pm and then was excused to go to the hospital.
It was a difficult journey all the way out East to nearly the end of the Hammersmith and City line. I arrived feeling exhausted and was shown to W’s bedside.
He was sat up seemingly ok reading a magazine. He looked up and smiled,
He proceeded to explain that he had collapsed at work during a class and sent home in a taxi, he had then decided to go to the shop and then next thing he knew he was in an ambulance.
They had done an initial assessment and were waiting on the consultant. But he felt fine.
Ok so maybe I had been wrong to think drink, I felt bad.
The consultant came about an 2 hours 45 mins later, I sat and watched as she checked W out and asked questions and listened to W lie about his social and health habits of the last 6 months. He was saying he drank moderately and rarely took painkillers!
I kept my mouth shut and excused myself. I waited in the corridor for the consultant to exit, and explained quietly that W had not told her the truth of his diet, drinking and sleeping habits. She nodded and wrote some notes and said thank you.
I went back in ready to ask why he had lied but W quickly told me he was tired and that I must be too- he was right about that and I was exhausted. He told me I should head home, he was being kept in overnight for observation and that he would be back home tomorrow.
I simply agreed and left, I was too tired to argue and to find out why W thought lying to a doctor was a good idea.
I had to go back to the office to grab my laptop so I could work from home the next day, so I made my way back into central London.
An hour and half later I was on a train headed home, my mind was hazy with tiredness and stress. I was finding it hard to keep my eyes open.
My phone buzzed it was the hospital, I answered and listened to the nurse explain to me that W had got out of bed and simply walked off the ward, they had searched for him and they didn’t know where he was.
Of course, why wouldn’t he do that?
©2016 C xo