I felt so drained and knew I had done all I could , so we left quietly and left the case to continue without us. Mum and T dropped me off at the train station and I thanked them about 6 times for their support and for being there with me today.

As I sat on the train I felt a small weight lift form my shoulders, finally the day had come and I had stood up and spoken up as I had needed to and maybe that would be the last time I have to deal with police statements and witness services and courtrooms. I allowed myself a small smile and settled in for my journey home.

As I walked up the drive I felt a huge sense of relief, this is my oasis, my home that M has no idea of. He hasn’t even got the slightest inkling as to where I live now and my name and that was a beautifully comforting thing.

I changed out of my smart dress and jacket and put on some comfy PJs and curled up on the sofa. I stayed there until my gorgeous man came home and spent the evening curled up in his arms feeling safe and happy with my life.

The next day I woke to the realisation I would know if all the worry and stress had been worth it, we would know the verdict today. I spent the day pottering around at home making sure my phone was on and in reach at all times.

It finally rang at 4.47pm and I heard my case officer K’s voice,

‘Hello C, the court has adjourned for the day and we will be back in the morning, today ran over and they need to do closing statements and then at about 11am the jury will go to make its verdict.’

My heart fell and I realised that more waiting would be required, I was going to be at work tomorrow and I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate from 11am onwards, it would be impossible.

I thanked her and sat down feeling all the nervous energy go back to worry and knew a sleepless night was ahead for me.

C xo

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