Today is the day I should get a call to say you need to be in court on Monday 27th Feb 2017.
I woke up feeling sick, wondering if despite the court director assuring me the hearing can not be moved again, would it be? I have stared at my phone too many times today and my concentration is shot to pieces.
I need for this to be over, I want to move on and as much as I do not want to walk into the court room with M staring at me I know that it won’t end until I do.
I have recently joined a community that is incredibly supportive and kind in all matters of life and today I shared what is happening with them and I have been over whelmed with their kindness and support which has helped imensley. This has helped and I know there are so many people out there who have battled as I have some have lost and some have won. I am sadly one of many.
But on Monday as my mum watches from the benches I will have to walk alone to the stand and be called a lair and my character will be put into question in front of a judge and jury. I am praying that they will see M for what he is and find him guilty and lock him away for many years.
I know I will have to recount every moment of horror that M rained down on my to help the prosecution do their job, its not going to be my favorite ever Monday but also not my worst and I am holding on to that.
18 months ago I got a new tattoo, it was a symbol of who I am and to remind myself that M can’t own me, he can’t take my life away from me and that I am free.