In the dark

Friday came and I waited for news, then I waited some more. Finally at 5.20pm I broke and called the police for an update. But I was told my case officer was now off shift and would be back on Tuesday.

I hung up feeling sick, I didn’t know what had happened in court today. There was every chance M was walking around free since this was the hearing to set a court date.

I went home feeling weary of potential danger and frustrated at the police. I just needed to know what was happening so I could be prepared and if needed extra vigilant. Tuesday seemed to be very far away and as I walked I hated M so much.

My whole world was waiting on the outcome, my approach to life couldn’t be carefree and happy with this weighing down on me. I was fed up and despite it being a Friday evening I plodded on unhappy and went home and locked myself away in my room.

The hours crept by slowly that weekend, I stayed inside and my mood didn’t lift. Finally Tuesday dawned and I waited until 8.31am to call.

M was indeed out of prison and walking around but I was assured he had bail conditions set that would prevent him from getting to me and of course my restraining order still stood.

The terms were that he had to stay in the county of the address he had given in court and report to the local police station 3 times a week.

Ok so where was he living? The police had told me months ago when M was awol that the house on Waltham abbey was abandoned.

‘I can’t tell you where C.’

‘ What? Why not? To protect him from me? He isn’t the victim here!’

‘ No it’s just procedure but rest assured it’s no where near London!’

I hung up the phone feeling disgusted at the lack of support and empathy from the police. They were protecting M!!!

It was obvious to me where he was though. He had been picked up in Lincolnshire when they found him so it made sense he would have given his mothers old house address.

Well I could live with that, it was far away from me and I hoped he would stay that way.

Next came a call from witness care, the crown court date was set for February 2016, a long way away for me. I couldn’t do anything about it but try to live my life while I waited.

C xo

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